@Magisch: but it is expected that I won't become the victim of emotional abuse right?

All of stack exchange is that. You have to get used to and comfortable with the idea that other users will judge and scrutinize your every action. It never stops. There are no breaks. You'll be called out on stuff.

victim of emotional abuse!?

Yes

If you define being criticised harshly as emotional abuse then I really can't help you there

@SomewhatMemorableName: please don't tell me your thoughts on how I was not emotionally abused.

I'm not interested in it ok?

@user1271772 Now you're being abusive

@Magisch: That's not how I define it...

You can't forbid people from commenting on your situation

I cannot, but I can request

This is a public place - your actions are fair game to criticise within the scope of not being abusive or hostile and assuming good faith

Also, by making such a big deal out of it you're invoking the streisand effect upon yourself

The way you request things can mean people will consciously behave the opposite way than asked to.

Thats what I meant by roll with the punches. The more it gets to you the more interesting it gets and the more people look and act on your posts.

I thought you guys would be mature enough to know not to all gang up on me like this... just accept that I complained about something and try to help work towards a solution, re-victimization doesn't help

@user1271772 Well, if you accuse other users of bullying, (and putting 'feel' in front is an inadequate shield), you can expect a robust response.

I struggled with this a lot early on. You need a certain frame of mind here. Everyone eats downvotes, sometimes a lot of them.

@user1271772 If you keep bringing up a specific post in a chatroom, different users are going to see it each time, and have an opinion on it... So, it might be best just to drop this, we're just going to argue in circles, people will have more opinions that you don't like, and honestly it doesn't seem like you're in a state of mind right now where even the most articulate and polite forms of constructive feedback won't feel like a personal attack on you...

Okay. I'm out from this discussion. I don't think I (or we) can help your situation...

I suggest taking a walk and coming back to this with a clear head and less emotion involved

@Tinkeringbell: how do i dissassociate the post?

And know that having a bad idea on MSE doesn't mean the community now hates you. People tend to vote on content and not users here. The "social reputation" matters a lot less then you probably thing

@user1271772 Shog just told you. It's oneboxed somewhere up there ^^

@user1271772 're-victimization' implies that you were a victim before. Sorry, I don't accept that possibly-incorrect voting on as question can be remotely conflated with cyber-bullying. It's an insulting accusation and disrespectful to real victims of harrassment:(

@user1271772 Use the "contact" button on the footer of every page. Fill out a request. Staff will do it for you.

Should I also ... have a look ... at the question? :P

@JohnDvorak Maybe refrain from voting on it. The point has been thoroughly made at this point I feel

@JohnDvorak: What I need help with is not the question itself

@JohnDvorak no

But I would appreciate some help with Goldfinkel's answer to it, which starts with a personal attack against me before answering the question

The question is meant to be something that people can refer to 5 years from now, why would they be interested in that very "personal" introductory paragraph by Goldfinkel?

near as I can tell, this discussion has gone on since early this morning. Multiple people have weighed in trying to help. I don't think this is going anywhere.

there's no one named "Goldfinkel"

"Goldfinkel's" that's borderline offensive @Glorfindel

and making fun of someone's name is a really petty way to get back at them

Sorry, I just forgot the name

I'm not trying to get back at them

But part of the problem is I have 20 people giving me "unsolicited advice" at the same time, when that's not what I'm asking for. I just want help in correcting the situation, not advice on how wrong I am

You can always meet them face 2 face here! That kinda name belittling is simply unacceptable. Stop that!

@πάνταῥεῖ: YOU HAVE ALREADY TOLD ME THAT ONCE AND I APOLOGIZED FOR IT

Pro-tip: all-caps = shouting; generally considered very rude

I agree @JohnDvorak

And I'll tell you again if you should keep on1

Was it not rude what @πάνταῥεῖ did ?

It wasn't rude.

Of course you would say that

You're in the frame of mind of telling me I'm wrong.

Of course I would. You did ask ;-)

... is this the first time you got this kind of interaction on the internet and/or real life?

@user1271772 if you're still upset that Glorfindel described the original tone of your question as "reek[ing] of rancor", then no one here can help you. You're welcome to feel however you wish, but that was not a personal attack.

You are all so willing to invest your time in telling me I'm wrong, but no one is interested in helping me with my problem with @Glorfindel

@SomewhatMemorableName for me, yes :P

@SomewhatMemorableName: Yes it is.

@user1271772 because no one can help you. That's a problem you have to solve on your own.

@SomewhatMemorableName: but it seems you thought you knew the answer to that question, what help does it do to ask ?

@Shog9: It was defamatory, there was no "confrontation with a moderator" that started it

@user1271772 no I don't, I was in fact very surprised by this.

< ignores @user1271772 temporarily

Perhaps I've already been used to Twitter...

@πάνταῥεῖ: that's not very polite to ridicule me like that in front of everyone. Why can't you just ignore passively?

I don't use twitter

The tiniest dogs always bark the loudest.

@user1271772 surely you're splitting hairs here.

Ok can we all stop telling me I'm doing everything wrong like "splitting hairs" and just talk about the Q/A itself?

@user1271772 you sure you want that?

Tell me in no uncertain terms that you want me to talk about that.

Why not?

what is "no uncertain terms" ?

@user1271772 tell me - if this is indeed what you want - that you want to me to talk publicly about this meta question

@user1271772 Ehhh... Did you really mean to include the Q there? You just said you didn't want to talk about the question a few messages up...

Did he?

I did not

@JohnDvorak chat.meta.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/7099307#7099307 Seems a lot like it to me, and that wasn't the first time such a message was made...

@Tinkeringbell: the next message was "But I would appreciate some help with Goldfinkel's answer to it, which starts with a personal attack against me before answering the question"

Hm. Now I'm confused what the tiny dog wants.

@JohnDvorak: name calling me?

Are you sure this chatroom is the right avenue for this discussion?

calling me the "tiny dog" ?

@Magisch it is 100% not

@Magisch: I am not

I was just about to ask if I can make a smaller chat room

and I'm pretty damn sure that user1271772 does not wish the full context of his meta question to become more widely discussed

Maybe you should take this to somewhere more appropriate then. File a contact us ticket. Talk it out with people who can help you.

but unless we can all be on the same page, I see no other way to continue here

Don't force shog to air your dirty laundry

@user1271772 Yeah. hence my question. You don't want to talk about the question so the 'can we just talk about the Q/A' confused me. Honestly, I'm not sure what I should help you with, you've switched from feelings to question disassociation to a specific answer in a matter of mere minutes...

He doesn't want to, that much is obvious

I never said that I don't want to talk about the question, what I said, in that thing you linked to all of us just now, was "it's not about the question itself but..."

What's the difference?

I'm not an RO so take this as a plea from a regular here, please take this discussion somewhere appropriate. It's obvious you don't like us weighing in so why talk it out in public?

@Tinkeringbell: It's not that I "switched" there was a lot of problems at the same time and I mentioned two of them at different times

I, for one, enjoy cranberries and horseradish mustard on my chicken sandwiches

I don't enjoy seeing you distressed in any capacity

> youtube.com/watch?v=3XWgRg7NV78

I like 2, but I need to know the best condiment for a chicken sandwich first please

Lettuce + ham + cheese

(And a few minutes to make one)

@Shog9: I prefer 2

But

@Shog9 Sharp cheddar and speciality local made mustard

Do you really think you can present the FULL context? Do you even know the FULL context?

Damn now I'll need to get some mustard and cheddar on a sandwich

This room was placed in timeout for 10 minutes; time to present background information

...fair enough then.

On July 8th at 9:26 UTC, user1271772 asked this question: meta.stackexchange.com/questions/312302/…

At 10:07, this question was suggested as a duplicate: meta.stackexchange.com/questions/28867/…

At 11:08, the question was closed as a duplicate.

At 18:15, user1271772 flagged the post:

> This is not a duplicate at all. The first sentence of my question mentioned a comment to another question I asked, and in that comment a link to "what recourse do I have...." was given..... I have read that question many times, so why would I spend time writing a new question if the answer was already there? This is the stupidest "duplication" tag I have ever seen in my life.

Then edited the question several times

Changing the title

and adding the paragraph:

> Edit: Contrary to the statement "This question has been asked before and already has an answer" below, this question has not been asked before and does not have an answer. In fact nothing even close to moderator rotation has been proposed here. My original question referred to a comment that had that "duplicate" article linked in it, and I have read that article many times, yet still chose to spent time asking a new question. It is because that question has nothing to do with this question.

The link referenced was to this question, posted by user1271772 a day earlier: meta.stackexchange.com/questions/312300/…

note that user1271772 was interacting with several of the same users on that question as well

user1271772 is a member of several sites, but ranks highest on the recently-launched Quantum Computing site

user1271772 has had several interactions with moderators on this site which might be described as less than cordial

Most notably:

On June 29th at 4:09, user1271772 asked this question on QC's meta: quantumcomputing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/264/…

(there are, I can confirm, no deleted comments nor trolling by anyone anywhere on that question)

Thanks Shog9 I appreciate that :)

On June 29th at 17:15, a moderator sent a private message to user1271772 regarding argumentative behavior on the site.

If you need more time to write more it's ok, but can I get 2 minutes to organize my thoughts and write something short before I get 20 people from the opposite team giving me their opinions?

With these interactions in mind, perhaps we can now discuss the question and why Glorfindel may have found it useful to highlight the context.

@Shog9 We all can't see the self removed question you linked, any chance for a screenshot?

@Magisch, yes.

@user1271772 hey, I made major edit to your question, making it less hostile and to the point. Take it or leave it, I hope you'll get it.

Merci

@Magisch, Shog9, I deleted that question myself when I found out there was no deleted comments, and I apologized for it.

(e.g. we also don't discuss question closure/reopening in the body, it's just noise.)

Thank you Shadow

So ... from my view of the situation and with the context that shog provided your recent meta question looks like an attempt to construct a vehicle to remove the moderators from office that (rightly in my opinion) tried to stir you towards ceasing disruptive behavior on quantum computing SE

I edited it again

This is how it looks from the outside.

I agree with Magisch

@Magisch: I understand that, is it possible for us to talk in a more "1 on 1 way" ?

What I mean is, it's quite obvious that all of you are on one side, and I'm on the other right?

@user1271772 you can start new room

With the most generous assumption of good faith I can manage that might not be a malicious plan but just a follow of natural reactions that you felt at the time.

To be clear: I'm not on any side here, I just want this discussion to conclude before happy hour

I'm not on any side. I have no power here and I'm a user, and my opinions are my own, only.

I'm not asking for a private chat, just that people voluntarily don't try to bring up 5 things against me at the same time, because then I can't respond

All I can do for you is recommend you let this go and accept what happened, and try to learn from it

@Shog9 ... that's... three and a half hours... sooner would be better.

This network allows you very nicely to recover from mistakes and you should take the opportunity to do so.

See, that's why I like Catija, ever the optimist

It's not private chat, anyone can see and join it.

@Catija check \o

@Catija it's happy hour here now, would that work?

@ShadowWizard that's only available if you can create rooms IIRC

If you want someone that can actually action anything on here or quantum computing SE, you'll have to have a chat with SE staff (via the contact us function)

@Shog9 oh. 100 rep? But @user1271772 does have more than 100.

All we can do here is provide ideas on how to move forward.

Happy Hour.... ugh, that means I should have been sleeping right now...

Ok about the SE staff

@user1271772 if there was anything in my answer that particularly bothered you, please, be specific... I would have hoped that the time I spent in here talking with you and the hour I spent writing that answer would have shown that I was taking your question on good faith and making my best effort to answer you in a fair way. There was no ill intent. I can't control how others vote but activity on a post draws attention to it, so I can't prevent new voting on posts.

@SomewhatMemorableName you have some time left

It's something I've considered

ok guys there's too many people talking at once

@Shog9 Wait... you like me?

@ShadowWizard ah, true!

@user1271772 So in the most unambigous terms possible, what do you hope to get out of bringing this up here. How do you expect us to help?

Can people just volunteer to not try to bring up too many "new" things when I'm still responding to the first?

@Magisch: you're asking me a new question when I haven't even had time to read @Catija's post, so that's why I'm asking if we can do this a bit slower

@user1271772 that's not how chat works.

just speak

That's what we have replies for.

I still can't imagine cranberries and radish mustard combined.

so good. your life is just incomplete. It's like you've never seen colors.

But I can't read Catja's message when you keep writing new messages

@Shog9 Choco, choclit choco shocks for everyone. Cheers!

horseradish mustard. I imagine regular radish mustard would be quite an experience.

Get on the cupcakes

@user1271772 here's a permalink to it: chat.meta.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/7099498#7099498

Open it in a new tab

I understand that about the permalink and tabs

@user1271772 you can, there's no auto scroll down once you scroll up. So just read as much as you like, and when finished scroll back down to see the new messages.

My point still stands

I only have a small laptop screen anyway

pro tip: if you scroll up just slightly, chat stops scrolling to show new messages

Hey, I said that! ^

Ok can I talk to @Magisch and @Catija in a smaller room?

REALLY helpful when replying in busy rooms

@user1271772 I can only recommend to upgrade

I don't know how to make rooms

@user1271772 see the screenshot Shadow posted above.

FullHD at least

I'm not sure that would be useful. I don't have a unique perspective on this and no authority here.

...wait, that was a missed opportunity for me to reiterate what Shadow had already said

@user1271772 here: chat.meta.stackexchange.com there's button "Create Room" in the bottom.

(if you don't want to invite a specific person)

@Magisch but you sting so nicely ...

Sting? He's a cactus, not a wasp. ;)

we don't know. Maybe he's a cactus full of wasps

@Shog9 well, that was when he asked for 1-1 chat, but now looks like he wants a more general room, dedicated to "this" discussion.

That would be this one

I'm actually a cactus plushie

So the stingyness is just a facade

@Catija I just closed Merriam-Webster and didn't want to go looking for a better word

@Shog9 a hundred wasps wearing a cactus as a trenchcoat

yeah, moving the entire discussion out of this room now is work. Better to just rename it and create a new Tavern.

Ye peyote we call em ;)

@JohnDvorak there's too much noise here from people eating sandwiches.

@Shog9 I can totally see you do that.... :D

I only have two slices of bread left. Gotta make the best use of them.

an open-faced bread sandwich

@Shog9 wait, is that the name for the new chat room?

that's a great name for a chatroom

I think we should adopt it for Shadow's Den

rofl

noooooooo

Moebius's sandwich?

Shadow's Sandwich

where sandwiches are made and dreams come true

@rene The "better" word in this situation probably has some connotations you wouldn't want, anyway.

Oh ... tempting ...

I could make a reverse sandwich - wrap a single slice of bread in layers of bacon

See the cactus thing is a tricky ruse

Sounds like Sushi

I can't eat fish

There's also Sushi without fish

isn't there beef sushi?

Probably

And salt chocolate

I don't like fish in general

hm...

how about eel? I don't think those are really fish

I think that, technically, you can sushi lots of stuff...

had a bad reaction to christmas dinner once and since then I get nauseous whenever I smell or try to eat it

oh. Apparently eel are fish. Shows what I know about fish

well, they're good anyway

I haven't seen beef sushi, but I might try cooked rice wrapped in bacon.

@πάνταῥεῖ That was your bet, not mine!

friday evening cooking with shog

My workplace made a grill party today

had some nice steak from the grill and nice salad

that sounds like a good friday

I'm going to eat walleye later today

local pizza place gets 'em shipped in from Minnesota & fries 'em up on Friday

@ShadowWizard I've made them, but you need to have good quality beef that you can eat raw

(people tend to forget that bit)

@Fabby OK, it's open for public. Everyone's getting a crate of beer.

@πάνταῥεῖ Meh, passed 20K already.

:3

I live in Europe, so if I'm about to get pizza shipped from Minnesota, it better be good.

:( computer excel sheet "Bet records" says No!

@JohnDvorak Is there a town called "Europe" in Minnesota?

I hope not!

@JohnDvorak Or are you the real thing? (Czech?)

Nobody can trust'em though, with that.

@Fabby yes and yes