My carefully selected impartial judge has declared my victory.

Your arguments are out of line.

Only last night, a man with a simple fracture bled to death in a hospital room because staff failed to administer bandages. They chose to "treat" the patient with a re-run of "Stephen Harper gets stabbed in the gut with a rusty nail" instead.

This can't be right. Can it, Jürgen?

And I thought you were on my side, man.

I used to think Jacques is a good guy. Buena gente, as they say around here.

Was I mistaken?

Breaking: Phase II of Welbogcare has just been announced. It will replace the healthcare systems covering the elderly and the poor, Medicare and Medicaid, by one unified system, Terminaid.

Details are forthcoming, but methinks the name doesn't bode well for those vulnerable citizens.

In other news, the authenticity of Welbog's death certificate has been put into question. The certificate was a prerequisite to his head being transplanted into a jar back in 2005.

Should the allegations be true, healthcare experts predict that the resulting scandal could well influence the rollout of Welbogcare.

Terminaid is the simply application of puppies and kitties and termites to the terminally old.

Who could possibly have anything against puppies and kitties?

See how he skates around the "Death Certificate" issue?

Choosing to play the puppies and kitties card instead. A real politician, this one.