This is the happiest day of my penicillin.

Yes, Whalebog is a bit on the morbidly obese side.

But it does, ultimately, not matter. Why?

Because of the free, taxpayer-sponsored liposuctions that Welbogcare executives receive.

Not Stabbation-based, of course. Just traditional medicine.

It's one of the many instances of corruption in the Welbogcare system.

Welbog has a big family. Many of its members are disgruntled by the Laser Care Act and willing to come forward and aid us in our fight.

- Fartbog, his flatulent stepcousin twice removed. Denied any medication under Welbogcare; advised to "keep it in somehow".

- Smellbog, an uncle of Welbog's whose personal hygiene issues can't be cured with mere laughter. His psychotherapy was going very well, but now he can no longer afford the fees.

- Dirtbog, a half-brother, whose only cure for his staphylococcus boils now is "stabbing those motherfuckers".

- Wetbog, an illegal immigrant cousin from a neighboring country who won't be getting any medical assistance under Welbogcare.

- Wartbog, who instead of proper treatment for his Verruca vulgaris was left with a knife to, you already know it, "stab those motherfuckers."

The list goes on and on.