Tavern on the Meta

12:02 AM

Either SE sites are supposed to be deep and cover even basics of a topic, or they are only supposed to cover complex, never-addressed questions. It's one thing to require research on a site that is years old and has thousands of questions... but when you're trying to flesh out the depth, you need to be OK with some un-(or under-)researched questions.

Shog9

@Catija I find that question pretty interesting for a few reasons, but primarily because IME it has a pretty strong cultural and generational aspect.

Journeyman Geek

@Catija I've always thought of SE questions for really tough problems, or polish

Shog9

Secondary to that, the topic itself touches on a few other areas - gift-giving, guest etiquette - that also have strong cultural and generational components.

I don't see any good answers, but man... I'd love to read one if it managed to attract one.

Catija

@Shog9 This is actually why I'm sort of disappointed that IPS made it to site status before etiquette... I think the latter would be more objective and there are more resources to actually back up an answer.

Journeyman Geek

@Catija presumably its broader, and more 'interesting'

Shog9

12:09 AM

@Catija I think etiquette is largely a subset of IPS

All too neglected ATM, but... Probably because it requires expertise.

It takes a while for scholars to emerge

Catija

It's complicated because a lot of etiquette is a question about how a single person should behave, which can risk it looking less like an IPS issue. Also, without a lot of etiquette questions, we're not going to attract "experts" in that subject. I mean, I can quote "As long as ships sail out to sea, I'll spoon my soup away from me" all day... but does anyone really care whether I spoon my soup away from my body?

Journeyman Geek

0_0

@Catija kinda sounds like how so many indian cultural traditions seemed to exist cause... they rhyme.

Catija

I went to "Miss Manners"... we learned about which utensil to use, how to eat soup, how to answer the phone, how to serve and take away plates... all sorts of fun stuff...

Shog9

12:30 AM

@Catija that's the "how" of etiquette though. The why is what makes it an interpersonal matter... And gives it purpose.

You aren't taught to answer the phone with a certain style for your own benefit, but for the mutual benefits it offers for both yourself and the caller. Potentially even for the benefit of others in your household. These things are born out of pervasive interpersonal problems and live and die based on their continued presence.

As a child, you're expected to show respect, defer to your elders while maintaining your own safety and avoiding any interactions that would expose your household to risk; as an inherently vulnerable point in the home's hierarchy, the etiquette that applies to you seeks to both shield you and those around you while still allowing you some agency.

As an adult, the etiquette serves a different set of purposes

Catija

Even something as commonplace as answering the phone is in flux, though... how does one dictate the etiquette of answering a personal cell phone in relation to a shared house phone? Most people under 30-40 probably don't even have a house phone any more. Even at work, I often say "Hi, {name}, what can I do for you?" because the caller ID tells me who's on the other line.

Mostly because I find it annoying to hear them say "It's {name}" as if I can't see who's calling on the phone.

Doesn't help that I really don't like talking on the phone...

Shog9

This is where having a site that doesn't rely entirely on 30 year old guides would help... As with your email question

Otoh, my personal preference does not a rule of etiquette make

Catija

12:46 AM

Nor does mine... my preference, at work, anyway (and probably oddly), is actually to go pop by their office...

One of the guys I interact with a lot is funny... he makes a point of actually having a greeting before jumping into "work" ... Which is nice. I think it's actually a really good way of forming a relationship with the person you're interacting with rather than just flat out asking what you want... you see them as a person, not just a fountain of wisdom.

... but SE is the opposite. We're all business; no greetings, no sign-offs.

Catija

1:05 AM

We just ... poof... ghost and we're out.