Tavern on the Meta

3:05 AM

I'm tired of these damn essays.

@James Apache are suck.

[ SmokeDetector ] All-caps title: BREAKING UP A PICTURE IN THREE SEGMENTS by Carrie on graphicdesign.stackexchange.com

bjb568

Anybody think I should write an essay about how the essay prompts suck instead and turn it in like normal?

Jason C

Yes, but only because I enjoy seeing you fail at things.

bjb568

Ok I won't.

Too damn tired of essays anyway.

Jason C

@James Generally, I can remember how I made that particular thing work last time.

James

3:08 AM

@JasonC with the apache server?

Jason C

No.

James

ahhh

bjb568

The problem is I need to get like 33/75 on these essays to get a <insert letter grade here>, and all the work I do counts for about 2/3 credit with him…

That's like 3 and a half essays that I need to write (out of 5 expected).

I've already got 1 and a half.

BUT I DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT ISRAEL'S FORMATION

SUCK IT

Alexis King

The upside of really enjoying writing: an unfair advantage in literally ever class ever! :D

bjb568

I do enjoy ran… writing. Just when it's not some crappy assignment.

If I don't die, maybe I could do the global economy prompt.

Maybe.

Alexis King

3:13 AM

That's fine, I think that's how most people are. But I enjoyed the mechanical art of crafting sentences, so it could be on the most mundane topic and I'd still write something nice. :p

bjb568

I like making long sentences that are hard to comprehend too.

Jason C

Most of your sentences are hard to comprehend, regardless of length.

Doorknob

the complex houses single and married soldiers and their families

Alexis King

Once we took a test on a book I hadn't read, and I literally failed the short answer but aced the essay (they were graded separately and anonymously). XD

bjb568

You know what I want to do when I grow up? I want to be on a committee for drafting a language specification. That's what I want to do.

2

Jason C

3:14 AM

@AlexisKing Oh god. I used to be a master at reconstructing short answers and essays for unread high school summer reading books from our first day reviews.

Generally you can't go wrong if you start every answer with "This is a growing up novel about a boy and his dog"

Alexis King

@JasonC Replace "growing up novel" with bildungsroman and you'll increase your letter grade by one.

Jason C

Lol, yes.

bjb568

education.ohio.gov/getattachment/Topics/… my god THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS

Alexis King

@bjb568 I hope it's not a natural language specification. Although, if I'm being honest with myself, I really hope it is.

Jason C

@bjb568 Yup, that's how you make the big bucks.

bjb568

3:18 AM

:d

Alexis King

> What if Truman had not ordered atomic bombs dropped on Japan?

This is like the vaguest question I've ever seen.

You could write many, many novels of speculative fiction based on that one premise.

bjb568

> Environmental concerns, impacted by population growth and heightened by international competition for the world’s energy supplies, have resulted in a new environmental consciousness and a movement for the sustainability of the world’s resources.

Starting 1991?

Seriously?

hichris123

Interesting date.

Jason C

@bjb568 Kind of, yeah.

hichris123

Wasn't 91 the fall of the USSR?

bjb568

3:20 AM

@AlexisKing And that's what we've been given, basically the last 7 of these, choose 5 and just write!

yeah something like that

hichris123

And the election of Mandela in South Africa?

Jason C

A lot of the environmental / health awareness that is normal for you now was kind of hard to find even in the mid 90's. The internet changed a lot.

bjb568

1900, 1945, 1991, present

very few dates mentioned

Alexis King

@bjb568 Write some really awesome historical fiction and pass it off as an essay.

bjb568

Well, interestingly, that topic isn't one of the essays.

I'm still perplexed as to how 1600 is "modern".

Anything before 2012 is in no way modern.

Jason C

3:22 AM

1600 is relatively modern.

bjb568

Relative to ur mom, that is.

Alexis King

Wow. Burn.

Are you really going to just sit there and take that, @JasonC?

Jason C

Mostly I'm just going to imagine I inherited some of those life expectancy genes.

bjb568

screw it I'm doing english homework instead of history

oh hm… that's interesting

Alexis King

Take my approach: just don't do your homework!

It worked out great for me!

bjb568

3:29 AM

Do english teachers expect students to complete vocab bookwork if it's not checked? Since we don't…

@AlexisKing They'll literally kick me out of the skewl.

Alexis King

Just look at me! I'm unemployed, broke, and sitting in the Tavern— wait.

In other news, @JasonC's feature requests have really been on a roll these past few days.

Jason C

@AlexisKing So the job interview went well?

Alexis King

@JasonC Actually I think it went fine. :P I haven't heard back yet, but they heavily implied they'll bring me back for another round of interviewing.

bjb568

I like heavy implications.

They have weight.

Jason C

I'll bring ur mom back for another round of interviewing

bjb568

3:34 AM

I'm too tired and stressed for this.

Alexis King

@JasonC You know you're really reaching when @bjb's burns are significantly hotter than yours.

bjb568

I'm just going to bed.

BLARGHALSDFJKASLDJFALSKDJF

Alexis King

@bjb568 well said

Doorknob

goosnargh

bjb568

history teacher considered harmful for mental health and wellbeing

Jan Dvorak

3:36 AM

s/history teacher/BJB's grammar

bjb568

I would go fetch his work email for y'all to send baba to but I'm too tired for that.

Alexis King

Write a paper called History Teacher Considered Harmful and turn that in to him. I'm sure he'll love it.

2

Jason C

Doorknob

@JanDvorak s/$/\//

Jason C

The file name of that image is fascinating.

Alexis King

3:37 AM

@JasonC My two favorite things! :D

Jan Dvorak

s$/$"$

Alexis King

Not together, though. Unless you're into that sort of thing.

I don't judge.

Doorknob

@JanDvorak s|"|/|

Alexis King

Doorknob

commence substitution war

Alexis King

3:38 AM

...

Jason C

I like the concept of a 15 ounce can of porn.

Alexis King

@JasonC Well, some of it has to be beans. It doesn't say the ratio, though.

Maybe it's a surprise.

Jan Dvorak

The other typo would have been interesting, too: Van Cramp's pork and beans

Jason C

Alexis King

> beans are make her dance

um

Jason C

3:41 AM

@AlexisKing I KNOW!

I also like "are beans made out of potatoes".

Alexis King

also lol @ all the poor people who think beans are made out of potatoes

asdagfdsg

Jason C

Lol

bjb568

Night!

Jason C

Also lol at "funny-typo-anus-pork-beans.jpg". I can't wait until I'm in a situation where posting "Funny typo! Anus pork beans." is a legitimate comment.

Alexis King

...you know, if the Tavern had held elections for new room owner, I think @Jason would've been the last person I'd have suspected to win. I'd still have voted for him, of course...

Jason C

3:44 AM

:(

Alexis King

yesterday, by Jason C

... :( i'm suck

Jason C

I'm going to make sure you never get to enjoy your stars again.

Alexis King

Oh, I don't enjoy my stars. Believe me, I take the responsibility of bearing the burden of stars, very, very seriously.

It is a solemn duty.

user259867