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J. Musser

10:00 PM

@SantaClaus can I have presents now?

Santa Claus

@J.Musser You can have a PHP textbook if you want

J. Musser

I want something fun.

Anna Lear

@SantaClaus Aren't presents supposed to be happy and good?

J. Musser

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Santa Claus

@AnnaLear If you've been bad then you get bad gifts.

Anna Lear

10:02 PM

How to short-circuit Santa: be really bad all year and then ask for coal.

J. Musser

@SantaClaus I wasn't bad, was I?

Santa Claus

@J.Musser You've been a bad tree, but you still have time to redeem yourself.

J. Musser

@SantaClaus What must I do?

bjb568

@J.Musser I was q-banned on MSE. For like 8 months. It was horrible.

Santa Claus

@J.Musser Answer 25 PHP questions

J. Musser

10:05 PM

steals 64 coal from Anna Lear, and smelts stack after stack of iron ore in new furnace

@bjb568 Seems a lot of people do. It's hard to ask a good question.

bjb568

And I was new. I asked horrible questions.

J. Musser

@SantaClaus answers 25 PHP questions

@SantaClaus Can I have nice presents now?

Wanna see my worst question??

-3

Q: Can the reputation cap be removed for some smaller betas?

On smaller beta sites, GL for example, people rarely hit their rep limit, but when they do, it seriously affects their rep. Why do small sits that don't have a Jon Skeet still have a limit? What good does it do them, and can it be removed?

Hee hee.

Santa Claus

Let me check my records...
No...it doesn't look like I have any "nice" presents left. How about that PHP textbook?

J. Musser

@SantaClaus Totally done with PHP. How about a brand new Ferrari?

Only like $930,000.00 used.

Or at least give financial support?

Santa Claus

@J.Musser No bruh, I need that thing to pull my sleigh.

Oh yay use.typekit.com DNS is broke too

J. Musser

10:11 PM

Then can I have your reindeer?

@SantaClaus By the way, how did you put that arrow in your message without pinging?

3 mins ago, by Santa Claus

Let me check my records...
No...it doesn't look like I have any "nice" presents left. How about that PHP textbook?

Santa Claus

@J.Musser I don't understand

@J.Musser My reindeer need to drive my ferrari which pulls my sleigh, so no.

J. Musser

@SantaClaus Then can I have the ferrari?

Santa Claus

@J.Musser Let me check with my supervisor on that...

J. Musser

@SantaClaus Wow... I don't want a Ferrari cattle trailer. Gimme the car.

@SantaClaus What's her name?

Santa Claus

@J.Musser Rudolph

Yay gravatars work

J. Musser

10:15 PM

@SantaClaus Weird.

@Santa, I wasn't naughty for 53.234561 years. Can I have 1 nice present?

Santa Claus

@J.Musser I only accept perfection

J. Musser

@SantaClaus I'm perfect. Accept?

If no, I'll tell all my tree-relations to drop apples on you as you sit in your sleigh.

Santa Claus

@J.Musser Unless you have trees growing on roofs or on the north pole then that won't work

J. Musser

@SantaClaus Well, you don't have teleporting powers, so you will have to take rural back roads or skip all the country kids. So there.

Santa Claus

@J.Musser But I can fly

J. Musser

10:22 PM

@SantaClaus I can throw apples into the stratosphere. You lose.

Undo

This Christmas I'm gonna try to shoot down Santa with my new shotgun.

Then I get a whole load of presents.

J. Musser

@Undo He is that mean.

Undo

It'll be just like MH370, NORAD won't be able to figure out where you went.

J. Musser

@Undo No, apparently all you'll get is a PHP textbook.

Undo

You make individual trips to each house, carrying only one present at a time?

(also, I haven't been that naughty as to deserve a PHP textbook!)

J. Musser

10:24 PM

I'm going to shine in his eyes with a laser pointer.

Undo

"Mommy, why didn't Santa come this year?" "He's scared"

Santa Claus

@Undo I'm currently stealing the nuclear weapons from scotland to rig onto my sleigh in case naughty kids try to shoot me down. Or if Russians mistake me as some sort of threat.

J. Musser

I will hijack his like-new Ferrari and sell it for 3/4 million.

Santa Claus

@Undo I have like 500 clones so I'm kinda doing a few at once

Undo

Oh yeah, I've seen a few of them at the mall. Are you aware they're posing for pictures for personal gain?

Santa Claus

10:27 PM

@J.Musser Some kid tried that but he missed, which instead gave Rudolph a glowing nose

J. Musser

@SantaClaus I once pushed one over and his beard fell off. Clone, eh?

Santa Claus