Hi there. You can view this any way you like. But you don't get to define how I see it. I thought you were reaching out to have a productive conversation about various aspects of our conflicted relationship when you wrote "can I address the issue personally here?". You clarified

that that was not the case. I took a bit of an initiative "If you want to have a dialogue, I am game." But I requested a private room. You agreed but warned me that your comments would have an edge to them. I expressed some concern about that and requested that you

be patient and respectful.

I'm going into it with some cautiousness, as a consequence of your "edge" warning.

In a way, our conversation might be kind of like a mediation. Mediation is voluntary on both sides. You may withdraw at any time -- for example, before it starts, anywhere in the middle. There is no pressure to do this. If it works out, great. If it doesn't, that's fine too.

Now to address your question (Why would you want to engage with someone who continually asks you (politely) not to engage them personally? Do you do that in real life?

1. I sense very strong feelings coming from you. I was surprised at what seemed like venom coming from you -- and this makes me think that there may be some issues that could be resolved. Maybe we'll end up with the same amount of ill feeling as before, maybe even more than before, but maybe less -- and that would

make it worthwhile. Also I noticed that your perceptions of a number of things were far, far different from mine. All perceptions are inherently subjective. I feel pretty confident about mine, but I'm interested to read the transcript. I might get some surprises -- and I might learn something interesting about

human interaction, and about myself.

2. I feel stronger than I was during our big conflicts at Parenting SE. I'm hopeful that I can get through a discussion with you without it affecting me as much as it did before. This seems like a doable challenge, and an opportunity to take a next step in my recovery from a trauma that I experienced several years ago.

3. When you wrote, "can I address the issue personally here" it felt like you were reaching out a hand. It is in my nature to respond positively when that happens. This might not help, but what the heck? Why not try.

4. I didn't hear you say "Don't engage with me" as many times as you think you did. And each time you did, I felt very confused about what you were saying. The hostility was extreme, but incomprehensible. I think that when I understand your thoughts and feelings better, we will have less conflict.

If @JourneymanGeek declines, I'll look around for someone else. I think we're both agreed that this doesn't have to happen right away. The tension has been there for several years.

Glad to hear from you, and i agree wit much of what you say. But may I point out that you still have not answered my question? I'll repeat it here again (this is the third time. I'm feeling distinctly that it's being avoided. You repeated my question, but answered it without giving an answer to the question, that is, you stated it, then carried on an unrelated conversation.)

I ask that referring to the repeated pings, not how you feel about yourself, or my hostility, or any of what followed the first time you (non)answered. Because it has everything to do with social understanding and not what you think about me or yourself or opportunities. Those are important, but they do not answer the question.

"But you don't get to define how I see it."

Where did I do that?

I made a prediction. I didn't define anything.

@anongoodnurse - Let's work on this once we get our start in our private room with our neutral third party. I think I answered it, you don't. To me, the question is a bit of a "When did you stop beating your wife" question. To you, it's perfectly reasonable. To me, it's confrontational, relentless and perhaps setting a trap. To you, it's essential that it be answered (according to your criteria of what constitutes an answer).

We have our work cut out for us!

@aparente001 - If you can't answer a simple, straigthforward question about social behavior directly ("Yes, I do", or "No, I don't"), then I don't wish to have a discussion with you. If you think rambling on with accusations and judgements about me is an answer to my question, I do not want to have a mediated or unmediated discussion with you, as you will likely be very defensive, will ramble on with non-answers, and will likely not clear up and of the tension between us.

@JourneymanGeek - I would still appreciate being able to look at the original comment thread, please.